a bad day
Monday, February 02, 20097:09 PM
today is a bad day. and will be an emo one.
nothing went right.
starting from the graded impromptu ppt, to the interview at suntec up to just wanting to have a bubble tea to cheer myself up and ended up dropping it before even having a sip.
everything went so wrong.
i really do hate myself, at least at this point of time.
why i never seem to excel in things i enjoy or love.
i really love sports and really admire those who can excel it. but i just have no affinity with any.
i really admire people who can dance and sing, but these two things just can't go well with me.
i love to share with ppl my ideas and tell them about it but i get all jittery and nervous during interviews and presentations, screwing it up all the time.
i love to interact and help people, but i dont have the courage.
i really want to get a good internship, but most of the times i find myself not worthy of getting one.
I had chances, and yet i always managed to ruin it.
i always can't say no. I spent 1 whole hour in a shop today cos the shopowner just can't seem to stop talking to me. and so i sat there listening to him talk for an hour, and nothing less. This despite the fact that i din have much time.
i really want to make my parents proud of it. and i know just having a mere degree is not enough. there are friends out there who are contented to just settle without a hons, but for me, anything lower than 2nd upper class hons and i know my parents will be so upset.
blasting of music into my ears during the mrt ride back just made it worse. somehow all that i heard were those sad songs.
i do know i am lucky as compared to many. but sometimes i wonder why i always paled or even failed in comparison to others in so many other aspects.
now u ask me what's my career, my answer to u will be i don't think i deserve having one. at least not in the finance industry.
i seriously wonder what am i good at. or to be straight to the point, is there even something i am good at.
but PLEASE dont ask me anything regarding this post. i dont wish to talk about it cos as i mentioned it is an emo post. thanks. now back to rushing projects. so that's it.
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