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a bad day
Monday, February 02, 20097:09 PM
today is a bad day. and will be an emo one.

nothing went right.

starting from the graded impromptu ppt, to the interview at suntec up to just wanting to have a bubble tea to cheer myself up and ended up dropping it before even having a sip.

everything went so wrong.

i really do hate myself, at least at this point of time.

why i never seem to excel in things i enjoy or love.

i really love sports and really admire those who can excel it.
but i just have no affinity with any.

i really admire people who can dance and sing, but these two things just can't go well with me.

i love to share with ppl my ideas and tell them about it but i get all jittery and nervous during interviews and presentations, screwing it up all the time.

i love to interact and help people, but i dont have the courage.

i really want to get a good internship, but most of the times i find myself not worthy of getting one.

I had chances, and yet i always managed to ruin it.

i always can't say no. I spent 1 whole hour in a shop today cos the shopowner just can't seem to stop talking to me. and so i sat there listening to him talk for an hour, and nothing less. This despite the fact that i din have much time.

i really want to make my parents proud of it. and i know just having a mere degree is not enough. there are friends out there who are contented to just settle without a hons, but for me, anything lower than 2nd upper class hons and i know my parents will be so upset.


blasting of music into my ears during the mrt ride back just made it worse. somehow all that i heard were those sad songs.

i do know i am lucky as compared to many.
but sometimes i wonder why i always paled or even failed in comparison to others in so many other aspects.

now u ask me what's my career, my answer to u will be i don't think i deserve having one. at least not in the finance industry.

i seriously wonder what am i good at. or to be straight to the point, is there even something i am good at.

but PLEASE dont ask me anything regarding this post.
i dont wish to talk about it cos as i mentioned it is an emo post.
thanks.
now back to rushing projects.
so that's it.
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